Lately, I’ve been having this recurring dream. It’s not exactly the same dream each time, however, but moreso the same theme in the dream. It involves one of my deceased aunts who passed away of Alzheimer’s disease about five years ago. It’s hard to remember exact details in each episode of having the dream, but most of what I remember is the feelings associated with the images conjured up in my mind.
Aunt Belle, one my Grandmother’s sisters, passed away in what most people in my family consider less than ideal circumstances. In her last couple of years, she was confined to a nursing home after breaking a hip. We believed she would only be there for rehabilitation and would return home afterwards. Her son, it seemed, had other plans. To make a long story short, Aunt Belle never received the care any of the rest of her extended family believed she was entitled to, and eventually passed away there from her worsening Alzheimer’s. During the last year of her life, family relations became strained, and her son and his wife would forbid certain family members from visiting her. To this day, relations between them and rest of the family are, shall we say, strained.
I’ve been having dreams lately where she would show up looking for us. Why she’s looking for her family in these dreams, I’m not exactly sure. I do know, however, that each time she’s looking for us, there is a deeply depressing and heavy cloud that seems to fall over the dream. Most times I remember having this dream we’re out in a forest on a foggy night with little to no moonlight. I remember that I’m reaching out to help her, but she can’t see me and doesn’t know I’m there. At times, other members of the extended family (cousins, nieces, nephews, sisters, etc) are there, but my memory plays tricks on me as to if they are also reaching out to her or what exactly they’re doing in the dream; I do, however, know they’re sometimes there.
Unfortunately, there’s never a resolution to the dream. I’ll either wake up or all of a sudden start dreaming something else. I’ve never been one to put any confidence into dreams having meaning, but I can’t help but be overly curious if this one actually does have some meaning, and what it might possibly be. Sometimes when I’m awake during the day and think about it, I’ll find myself start to cry from the same dark feeling overtaking me.
So for those of you reading this… have you ever had any experiences with dreams such as this? How did you feel, and did you ever find a resolution? Do you believe dreams have meanings? If so, what do you think the meaning to this dream is? I’m very interested to hear about what you think.